Not quite getting it right

Hello World,

As I go further into the New Age concepts, I feel I am getting harder to relate with, unless you too are New Age. My goal was to be relatable, because I too started out scientifically minded. I am not looking to convert anyone, but to be that person so many exclude as too far out there. Yet, I would be too far out there in such a way that I was understood and respected for my different opinions.

All too often society chooses to laugh at the person who leaves offering to Fae, but weren’t humans leaving offerings to something most of existence. It is a basic human need to reach out to the unknown, that is no longer respected. Not respecting that part of oneself doesn’t make it go away. It just leaves us unbalanced.

Yet, as I get further onto my personal path, it becomes less important to be relatable. It is more important to express myself. I want to talk about my beliefs and not mold them to fit in the model of normalcy.

I realize that no matter how I bend my words, I will still be seen as crazy. I hope that there is enough wisdom in my words that you see I am not crazy, just unconventional. My thought process includes the feelings of the heart, along with the logic of the brain.

If there are two people, and one is Scientific and Sad. While the other is Unscientific and Happy. Which person should you follow? What is really the wise choose, solid knowledge or free joy?

I have been on college campuses, and I will tell you few are happy. They chase the belief that they will be happy once they have the knowledge to get a good job. Yet, this good job is rarely a good fit. It will overwork you, and stress you.

If on campus if they chased a career they enjoyed, the work of learning would not be work. After college they might not get a job as a professional artist/writer/whatever, but they know more about what makes them happy. After work they can sit and write/draw, and chase their joy. Yet, the hard worker who only went into Engineering to make money, might find themselves completely unaware of what makes them happy.

Some people are happily Scientifically minded, but I think this is a rare breed. Albert Einstein was one such person, but he was more then just a Scientist. He was an unboxed Scientist. He thought beyond convention, and I guarantee his feeling of Science was not the same as most students on campus. If students can release their scientific creativity, it is a different game.

So I admit I was using Science as a metaphor for a person who detaches creative fun from life. There are those who are unhappily New Aged too. There are many pitfalls to fall into that keep away happiness. Yet, if you stop and listen to the happy person. Whether they be Scientists or horribly Unscientific, you might learn a secret or two. One pitiful a Scientist might fall into is dismissing the happily Unscientific person as a crazy person.

Each time the manual of what is mental illness is redrawn, a higher percentage of the population becomes mentally ill. Usually its the unscientifically minded that end up on the list. It makes it seem that Scientists just like to write off people who are different from them as crazy. Is that really wise?

Please have a wonderful day,


What are the Fae?

Went to the garden store today. Picked out some plants. Next weekend I might plant them. That is small time news, but meaningful in that I will ask the Fae to help with the garden. I plan on hiding some crystals in the soil. I am an inexperienced gardener. I only know the basics of plant care, but only one way to learn.

I am unsure where Fae stand in the grand scheme of things. Are they aliens, misinterpreted because ancient humans didn’t understand the solar system, or are they something else? I pulled out my Angel Answers cards and asked are Fae aliens? The answer was, ‘Within the next few months.’ I interpreted that the answer would be revealed to me in a short time.

Yet, do you not see the similarities? Fae are from another dimension, so of course they are not Earthlings. Yet, are they the same as your extraterrestrial aliens, or are they more connected to the Earth. Whatever dimension they are from, and Earth are closely linked. The impact of deforestation seems to effect them, even if they live in another dimension. So their dimension is so close to Earth, they are laterally living on the same planet, just beyond the sight of common man.

Did not various cultures say the rocks, and trees had Spirits? I think that Fae are the Spirits of Nature taking on human form to relate to us. Most humans cannot see Spirits of any kind. I have a very limited vision of them. I, sometimes, see specks of light floating in the air, in nature areas. So very tiny you have to really change your focus to see them. It looks like little bits of dust that shine in the sunlight.

This effect can happen outside of nature too. Last time this happened I was shaving my legs in the bathroom. Suddenly on the corner of my vision the light dust appeared. I am sure eye doctors have a name for these, that scientifically minded individuals label as eye problems. I, however, know it is Spirit.

Beyond visualization, this is all I see of the unseen. You know the freaky thing is, that when I was mentally ill, I saw people others didn’t see with such clarity that they looked no different from people others could see. Now walking down the street, perhaps I see more people on the street then others do… What I am saying is, perhaps, even those who say they have never seen a Spirit, have done so, and didn’t realize it.

I have never seen Fae in the classical sense. If I saw one, it was pretty well shape shifted.

Yet, it is possible that some of the ancient reports of Fae were not Fae as in the Spirit of Nature taking form, but the various humanoids who have visited the Earth.

I am going to take a moment to put to rest that part of myself that feels silly writing such things, seriously. The young me that thought any food left out for Fae only disappeared because animals ate it. I assure any that read this thinking I am crazy, I am just filled with the Magic of Possibility. Am I 100% sure Fae exist… no. I leave them crystals and offerings, but I have never seen them. Yet, the possibility of nature taking on humanoid form to play with humans, makes me smile. You might think me stuck in ‘La La Land,’ but, if your have never visited it, I welcome you for a visit. You should really try visiting the realm of nature’s spirit sometime.

I am good at such things, not that I do it often. You could think of it as advanced visualization or Self-guided mediation. I do so without invoking Spirit Guides or anything to protect me. I have perfect faith I am protected in such things, without the common visualization of White Light, or prayers to Angels. John Edward believes it is important to use psychic protection before doing psychic work. I don’t do psychic work, and am hardly an expert. Perhaps he is talking about something different.

I meet a Shaman who was was upset with me for doing such journeys without invoking protection first. That is why I bring it up. She says the problem with the New Age is that it doesn’t believe in evil. I guess I have a problem then, because believing in evil did me more damage then evil itself. There is nothing to Fear but Fear itself, seems to come to my mind at this point. Evil and Fear are greatly linked. Yes, there are bad things in the world, but maybe not in the traditional sense of a Devil. I believe in people who do bad things, but not evil. Perhaps someday I will get straight what I believe. Thankfully my Guardian Angel(s) is watching out for all those times I innocently Soul travel without setting up a circle first.

John Edward says, You wouldn’t have unprotected sex with everyone at the local bar, so why would you do psychic work without protection. I think that it there is a difference between the level of advancement. I didn’t agree with John Edwards enough that I stopped reading his book on psychic development. I’ve read many of his books, but I found him too busy in this one. I found his books years ago in a used book store. Before I did any reading of NDE’s. It was an important step in me beginning to believe in the afterlife.

One of the most important things that come from books written by psychics, whether they be mediums or Angel readers (Kyle Grey), is that they expand you definition of normal human experiences. Before, having been labeled Mentally ill, I felt maybe ill for things that I now consider natural to being human. I am able to live an expanded life, learning from teachers I would have avoided before. All because I was given example after example that the vanilla mainstream view of human experience was so tight fitting it was choking.

So those who think me crazy to write about Fae, are perfectly welcome to do so. I am diagnosed mentally ill therefore I have every excuse to be crazy. Label me away as that crazy homeless person who talks to themselves on the street. Under different circumstances that would have been my fate. Walk away from me not looking me in the eye. I know that the strength of my family is really the only reason I got ‘good’ medical care. I had support, and without it, I wouldn’t even be here anymore. I didn’t have the personal strength to become the crazy homeless person, perhaps a reconsideration of how we see the homeless in in order. They had the strength to face hardships without a family to support them.

Really I don’t know where I am going with this post anymore. I reach an end many times, and just kept on writing. I should finish now… no now. Now?

hehehe, still writing.

Loving Shadow work

Should I be serious or talk about pointless stuff. A am fully able to dawdle on about pointless life points for hours. Yet, that is not the theme of this site. I am not sure why you come here, but I assume that it isn’t to read about how my apartment hasn’t turned off the heat yet. (I have an inability to do so where I live.) So it is hot at home. I do not always recognize I am hot, so just get tired. That seems to be my body’s default response to anything. Maybe it is my Past Lives telling me that for any sickness, the option of sleep is the cure. I know this isn’t really the case, but it is like a subconscious effect of any illness. It doesn’t even need to be an illness that requires rest. If I get mild eye irritation I will dedicate my free time to rest.

One of my favorite enlightened teachers, who I talk about often (Matt Kahn) says that sometimes when you get ill, it is so your body can catch up to the growth of your Soul. It isn’t some horrible manifestation you brought on by having the wrong attitude.

I will try to remember to link to the video where he says this. (I am at work and while I am waiting to help people at a computer, I cannot watch videos.)

I like this concept, because I spent year of my life caught between sleep, deep sleep, and a little awake time. I was on a medication that messed with my sleep schedule. I am the only person I know who can say I slept 24 hours a day for two days, many times. I told you about when I would sleep 16 hours a night. Yet, before that I would struggle to keep normal hours to attend college, and catch up on sleep during the weekend. It was a horrible state to be in, because I’d sleep right through taking my Bipolar medication. I think I was able to sleep so long because during the sleep I’d start going through withdrawal.

Right now, I think many people are starting to go through health problems that make them extremely tired. If Matt Kahn is right, then I am a member of the First Wave of Ascension that is finally coming out of the craziness. Other people are just entering what I have already gone through. Even some in the First Wave are still suffering. I took on an intense course in my Life Plan so that I could be among those who inform others suffering, it isn’t forever.

When I was sleeping my life away. I felt horrible, my youth was disappearing. Important years spent having relationships in college, were instead spent in dream land. Each day went by so fast. Yet, now I have a different perspective. My studies of NDE’s show that a person can appear as any age they wish in the Spirit world. On Earth our bodies might age, but in reality we are more timeless then a diamond.

I used to be afraid that in my next incarnation, I’d have to start from ground zero. I’d have to go through the phases of illness for myself to learn. Without my illness, I would never have been able to talk about the First Wave of Ascension seriously. It took a matter of breaking down before I was able to let go of bias.

Now here I am writing about it with a straight face, and passion. My heart is moved by the teachings of Matt Kahn, and now the channeling of Kryon. Its like I am uncovering answers to questions, I didn’t know I asked. Kryon moved me to tears yesterday. At a point in my life, I would have been either too caught up in the possibility of evil tricking me, or unscientific insanity. I would have not been able to be moved.

Yet, my heart sings when I listen to Kryon, and I can sometimes literally feel Matt Kahn’s voice vibrating my heart. It is such a gentle wave of vibrating warmness, and I know, that before humanity was taught channeling was sinful, the Great Teachers of the past would do the same.

When Jesus taught on a hill, he wasn’t accepted by most of society. Yet, there were those who needed his words so much, that they overlooked the reservations of their Rabbis. They needed gather to feel his words in their hearts.

The power of Charismatic Leaders is dangerous. Did not Hitler to fill crowds with the passion of his words? I understand why religions teach against channeling for that reason. Yet, it is part of a human need, to have another person’s words fill you with passion.

When I asked you to put aside reservations, and to let your heart soar to the words of those channeling Pleiadians, I did so with the assumption you let your heart guide you. There are those who channel Pleiadians, and fill you with fear of other kinds of aliens, the bad kind. In a conspiracy theory they are said to manipulate governments behind the scenes. How does that make you feel? Does it fill your life with joy?

It is possible that it is true, but where is your faith in the Goodness of Creation. If other kinds of aliens are allowed to interfere with human affairs, Creation allows it for a reason. So that these bad aliens can see the Light of these ‘weak’ humans, and ultimately find the light in themselves. They might see us as weak, but we are not.

So whether it is bad aliens, or bad people fueling the wars on the planet makes no difference. Perhaps, as Pleiadians talk in metaphors, bad aliens are just a metaphor for the evilness of manipulation. Pleadians are beautiful users of metaphors. These bad aliens may represent the shadow side of humanity.

Each human is light and darkness combined. Maybe we wall off the bad side of ourselves, letting it exist, but not in our actions. Or we are taught to wall off the good side, pretending to be bad, but daydreaming about doing nice things. The shadow will never completely disappear, but needs to be Loved. The darkness and light need to combine in Love. In the end the darkness will only discover that it is light too.

I remember the book, “Dark Side of the Light Chasers.” We are each the full range of human emotions, good and bad. We are manipulative and compassionate. Most people will accept being compassionate, and wall of being manipulative.

Yet, why do we manipulate? We believe that the truth will not provide us with what we need to survive. We can manipulate for Love, Money, Success, but isn’t our manipulative nature ourselves stating, “I know I deserve to be Loved, have Money, and be Successful.” We just get so fearful of not having these things, and we think the truth will not give them to us. Bentinho Massaro, might be right when he states suffering comes from a false belief in lack.

So these bad aliens might serve as a way humans can depersonalize the human struggle between light and dark. It provides a new perspective over only looking inside yourself. It might not completely be a metaphor, perhaps there are bad aliens. Yet, the set up of the Universe is such it for the benefit of all involved. Does it make sense that there could be manipulative people or aliens behind the scenes of Government, but the Universe is so well designed that it is a good thing.

Rereading, I realize that I got majorly side tracked. I was talking about being afraid of repeating the same steps I went through in this life, in my next. Yet, I think we only repeat the steps we didn’t learn fully from. Once you have learned something your Soul doesn’t forget. The experience of this life will never be completely repeated in another lifetime. So while many are suffering illness as their body better melds with the Soul, they are completing something that will benefit all their lifetimes to come.

Isn’t that just beautiful? That even something so horrible as an illness could is not in vain? Disease is allowed to exist, because we need it to. Is not the Universe wonderfully designed? Matt Kahn tells us to recognize everything is Divine without needing to understand why. Does understanding how this seemingly horrible thing is Divine help you to accept that, just because we don’t understand how something is Divine doesn’t mean it is not?

Even through I mention Matt a lot, I do not always agree with him. I think, if taken incorrectly, his teachings could lead to a disconnection with other people. It feels like almost a blocking of that person to me. However, maybe this is an important stage for people to face. Instead of looking to others to accept us, we learn to accept ourselves. Yet, to me I still want to talk to others, instead of listening. Another thing I noticed is when he brushes off those with conspiracy theories.

Yet, maybe there is more to conspiracy theories then meets the eye. If having a conspiracy theory fills your life with Purpose, so for it. It is one thing to watch a hero battling dark forces on screen, but it is another thing completely to be in a group of people that battles it in real life. However, if it fills you with fear instead of Purpose, I suggest thinking differently. You can do little to battle the dark when you are scared. It is better to remember your own power, and live life.

Showing my Nephew A Crystal

My nephew like all young children are, is enchanted by the beauty of Crystals. I bought an amethyst that still had the outer rock layer on it. I thought it would be funny to place the Crystal side of the gemstone flat on a table, so that the rock was all that was visible and the beauty was hidden. Then I would pretend I found a big rock, he would flip it over, and I would act surprised.

The plan kind of worked, but then my Nephew started asking me questions about the rock.

“What does it eat?” he asked. Here I was tempted to take up some New Age concept, and say something like ‘energy.’ I resisted, as I am not the Mother, and it is not my place decide to teach such things.

“It doesn’t eat.”

“Won’t it die then?”

“It never dies, it is immortal.”

“I wish I was a crystal.”

“Yet, then you wouldn’t get to move around. Crystals cannot move.”

Here he proceeded to move the amethyst around the table, saying “See it moves.”

“How did the crystal get inside the rock?” he asked.

“It is made in the Earth. Pressure and heat are placed on a rock, and it transforms. People go into mines and dig them up. Then they cut open the rock, so we can see the Crystal.”

“That would kill it. What does it eat?” he asked.

“It takes in energy. They are in things like microchips of computers. A lot of people don’t know Crystals are in computers.” (Don’t quite remember exactly how I phased this to sound like scientific fact, instead of New Age, but I tried.)

I’d like to imagine that my Nephew has some innate knowledge about Crystals. Perhaps the way we handle (cutting and polishing) them hurts their power. Perhaps there are other ways of getting them to shine that do not damage them. Either way I would like to think that one day he will be a great scientist who will uncover the power of crystals. When this happens we old time New Agers will smile that we knew it all along.

Anyway, it is not my place to put my belief system on my Nephew. All to often a topic, like that of God, will arise. Or that of Death. My Nephew fears death, and losing loved ones. At the age of 5, he has already talked about it many times. I want to share what I have learned from NDE’s, that we are as immoral as the Crystal, and we just leave the body. As it is not my place to imprint my belief system, I must wait till he is older. I use the more conventional approach, telling him he will go to Heaven.

“But then there will be no one to play with,” he responds.

“You will have all the people who died before you to play with,” I say.

“Like Maverick (my sisters dog).”


I have a feeling when he is older, his mind will be filled with bias. It will be so hard to get him to understand, what he could so easily learn today. Yet, we all have our life path to follow. I overcame my bias, and he will conquer his as well.

Writing my future

It is late tonight, and I should have slept long ago. I was listening to one last Kryon, but he was asking his audience to take a break to write their future.

So here I am.

For a while, I will exist learning. I will get into a deeper touch with who I am inside, and I will continue to blog. I will be an undercover world changer, offering love to the community around me. I will process negative energies and transform that energy into rich soil. For it is from the waste that the new plants grow. Beautiful flowers from what others thought was useless.

Online my following will grow, bit by it. This blog a record of someone who from despair found light. Those in their dark nights will stumble upon my past writings, just when they need them.

In time, bit by bit. I will write my book. While my platform grows with my blog. I am in no rush. I have a great deal of learning and living to do before my book can be complete.

My cards lately have been pointing towards a good relationship in the future. Someone who I get along with, but where we complement each other as opposed to being mirror images. This person, too, has a desire to learn, but not New Age spirituality. I have a feeling that it will be more of the scientific sort, who will gift me lots of crystals, but not for the reasons I buy them. A bit of a case of opposites attracting.

Between my blog and book, I will have more financial abundance then before. I will finally get a house instead of an apartment. Still a simple life, but with more space. I will continue to exist to transform the planet, being more open minded then in any of my other incarnations. Details of life will be beautiful throughout. My death will be painless, without suffering.

In my next incarnation I will discover my book and blog, hardly knowing it was written by myself. I will look up to myself, hardly knowing the same simple greatness is/was me. For it is not always the most historically dramatic life of fame, and struggle that transforms the planet. It is in the little lives in the background, where the real power of transformation occurs.

I will be just famous enough to make money as a blogger/writer/artist. Yet, to those who relate to my work, my impact will be world changing.

This for something better… this or something better

Good night

Featured Image -- 6370

“I Was Overwhelmed by My Own Power of Mind”


Thank you AngelicView. I am afraid you do not realize how life changing your blog can be. I think you just want to share what interests you, but you do not always recognize how healing this is. Some healing can happen instantly, yet other people need time.

I think your blog helped change my attitude. I wasn’t quite ready to accept certain things when I first came across your blog. I would read the NDE’s because they were beautiful, but the rest was harder to accept. I found your blog when I was interested in angels. I had no knowledge of NDE’s, before. Reading NDE after NDE, my mind opened. I developed my own understandings over time.

Originally posted on AngelicView:


AngelicView: This is an STE (Spiritually Transformative Event) from a woman who was very ill with a genetic illness that lead to other health conditions. An STE could be an NDE (Near-Death Experience) or an OBE (Out of Body Experience) in this case. It’s hard to say in most cases of STE’s what really happened. But the take-away for that person is that the experience completely transforms their life and/or their views on life. That is what it did for Malla.

I glanced up on the large clock on the wall beside me. 02.45. I must have dozed off.

Days and nights seemed to blend into each other as my need for sleep grew more and more inevitable. Pain had become my only friend. I really had no expectations left of recovery. I was done. Out of sheer exhaustion, I whispered, ‘Father, I can’t do this anymore.’ In my…

View original 4,342 more words

A 20-Day FREE Journey to Self-Discovery, Health and Success. Transformation Begins May 9th. Join HAY HOUSE Summit!


May might be a busy month indeed. Thank you again Quantum Leap Journey!

Originally posted on Quantum Leap Journey:


A 20-Day Journey to Self-Discovery, Health,Success and Transformation begins May 9th. Hay House Summits are truly amazing and I couldn’t recommend listening to the talks more since they gather most influential spiritual teachers and messengers of our times! On the other hand You can also choose to go to the forest or somewhere into the wild, into the nature and find this Connection most of those lecturers talk about – there ;-) 

“Create abundance and happiness in your life with 100 lessons, resources and movies from the world’s leading experts. Take this opportunity to move beyond your limitations. Be inspired, encouraged and learn more.

Starting on May 9th you can listen to your favorite speakers, watch inspiring movies and even discover some new voices. We will release 25 lessons and 3 videos in four series from May 9-28 starting at 12:00 am ET. You have unlimited streaming access for 20 days to:

View original 762 more words